In the winter of 1939, Lord Marchmain,
in view of the international situation,
declared his intention of returning to England
and passing his declining years in his old home.
Whatever harsh voices
might be bawling into the microphones of Central Europe
and whatever lathes spinning in the armament factories,
the return of Lord Marchmain
took precedence in his own neighborhood.
Julia and I,
who had left Brideshead a month before
thinking we should not return,
moved back for the reception.
It's-it's the cold.
I'd forgotten how cold it is in England.
Quite bowled me over.
Can I get you anything, my lord?
Nothing, thank you.
Cara, where are those confounded pills?
The doctor said not more than three times a day.
Damn the doctor!
I feel quite bowled over.
- A glass of water. - Yes, sir.
I don't feel at all a thing today.
The journey took it out of me.
Ought to have waited a night at Dover.
Wilcox, which rooms have you prepared for me?
Your old rooms, my lord.
Oh, it won't do. It's too...
Not till I'm fit again.
Too many stairs.
It has to be on the ground floor.
Plender, get a bed made up for me downstairs.
Very good, my lord.
Which room shall we put it in, my lord?
Ahh...
The Chinese drawing room.
Very good, my lord.
And, Wilcox?
The queen's bed.
The Chinese drawing room, my lord,
and the queen's bed.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
Few things could have caused more stir in the house.
The Chinese drawing room was one I'd never seen used.
The queen's bed was an exhibition piece,
a vast brocade tent
like the baldachino at Saint Peter's.
So what had been foreseen as a day of formality
became one of fierce exertion.
The estate carpenters were collected
to dismantle the bed,
and it came down the main staircase
at intervals during the afternoon.
Lord Marchmain seemed to derive comfort
from the consequences of his whim.
And as he showed no inclination to move,
tea was brought to us in the hall.
I daresay I shan't really be fit again
until the summer comes.
I look to you four to amuse me.
Tell me the circumstances of Brideshead's courtship.
It seems he met her late husband first.
They shared the same hobby.
What was that?
Matchboxes.
Admiral Muspratt apparently had one on the finest collections
in the country.
Matchboxes.
I think she's past childbearing.
Thank you.
In ltaly, no one believes there's going to be a war.
They think it'll all be arranged.
I suppose, Julia, you no longer have access
to political information.
Cara here is fortunately a British citizen by marriage.
It's not a thing she customarily mentions,
but it may prove valuable.
She is legally Mrs. Hicks, are you not, my dear?
We know little of Hicks,
but we shall be grateful to him nonetheless
if it comes to war.
And you, you will, I suppose, be an official artist?
No, as a matter of fact.
I am negotiating now
for a commission in the Special Reserve.
Oh.
Well, you should be an artist.
I had one with me during the last war for weeks,
till we went up the line.
Ohl.
Oh, it really looks remarkably well.
Oh, I do congratulate you.
Ah, yes, indeed.
Wilcox, I seem to remember a silver basin and ewer.
It stood in what we used to call "The lrish Dressing Room."
Suppose we put it here on the console.
Very good.
Send Plender and Gaston to me.
Tell them not to worry about the luggage.
Just my dressing case and things for the night.
Oh, Plender will know.
Now, if you'll all leave me,
I'll go to bed.
We'll meet later.
You'll all come and dine with me here
and keep me amused.
Of course, Papa.
Charles?
It really looks very well, doesn't it?
Very well.
You might paint it, eh?
Call it The Death Bed.
Did he mean that?
Yes. He has come home to die.
But this afternoon,
he was speaking so confidently of recovery.
That's because he was so ill.
When he is himself,
he knows he's dying and accepts it.
His sickness is up and down.
One day, sometimes several days,
he is strong and lively and then ready for death.
Other days, he is down and afraid.
I don't know how it will be when he is more and more down.
That will come in good time.
The doctors in Rome gave him less than a year.
There is someone coming from London, I think, tomorrow,
who will tell us more.
What is it?
His heart,
some long word of the heart.
He is dying of a long word.
I've not been much moved by family piety until now,
but I am frankly appalled at the prospect
of Beryl taking what was once my mother's place
in this house.
Why should that uncouth couple sit here childless
while the house crumbles about their ears?
I will not disguise from you
that I have taken a dislike to Beryl.
Perhaps it was unfortunate that we should meet in Rome.
Almost any other place
would have been more sympathetic.
Yet, when one considers it,
where could I have met her without repugnance?
We dined at Raineri's, a quiet little restaurant
which I have frequented for years.
No doubt you know it.
Beryl seemed to fill the place.
L, of course, was host,
but to hear Beryl press my son with food,
you would have thought otherwise.
Brideshead was always a greedy boy.
A wife with his best interests at heart
would rather have tried to restrain him.
But that's a matter of small importance.
No doubt she had heard of me as a man of irregular life.
I can only describe her manner to me as roguish.
A naughty old man, that's what I was.
I suppose she's met naughty old admirals
and knew how they were to be humored.
I will not attempt to describe her conversation.
But I will give you one example.
They had been to an audience at the Vatican that morning,
a blessing on their marriage.
And do you know what she said to me?
"Lord Marchmain," she said,
"I felt as though it was I who was leading the bride."
it was said with great indelicacy.
I can't yet quite fathom what she meant.
Was she making a play on my son's name,
or was she, do you think,
referring to his undoubted virginity?
I fancy the latter.
I don't think she would quite be
in her proper element here, do you?
Who shall I leave it to?
The entail ended with me, you know?
Sebastian, alas, is out of the question.
Who wants it?
A quiz!
Would you like it, Cara?
Huh?
No, of course you would not.
Cordelia?
Mm...
I think I shall leave it to Julia and Charles.
Of course not, Papa. It's Bridey's.
And Beryl's?
I shall have Gregson down one day soon
and go over the matter.
It's time I brought my will up to date.
It's full of anomalies and anachronisms.
I have taken a fancy to the idea of installing Julia here.
So beautiful this evening, my dear.
So beautiful always.
Much more suitable.
Do you think he really means to leave it to us?
Yes, I think he does.
But it's monstrous for Bridey.
Is it?
I don't think he cares much for the place.
I do, you know?
He and Beryl will be much more content
in some little house somewhere.
So you mean to accept?
Certainly.
It's Papa's to leave as he likes.
I think you and I could be very happy here.
Brideshead and his wife returned from their honeymoon
and stayed a few nights.
It was one of the bad times,
and Lord Marchmain refused to have them near him.
"Mr. Chamberlain opened his speech in Birmingham
"by saying that tomorrow
"he would attain his 70th birthday
"and that as he felt still sound in mind and limb,
"he hoped he might have a few more years before him
in which to give what service he could to the state."
"This remark was greeted with cheers."
Shall I go on?
Yes, do, if it's not boring you.
No.
Chamberlain...
I knew him.
Mediocre fellow.
Bridey, I'm sorry.
He's terribly tired.
He can't see anyone else today.
Oh, dear.
How very disappointing. Are you quite sure?
He's very exhausted.
Yes, I do see.
Perhaps tomorrow, he'll be brighter.
Well, I'm afraid Beryl simply can't wait any longer.
She has to get back to the children.
As you can imagine,
this is very distressing for her.
She was most anxious to see him.
You know, she formed an instant liking to him in Rome.
One morning, Father Mackay,
the parish priest from Melstead,
came to call as a matter of politeness.
No, don't bother. I'll be all right.
Good morning.
Cordelia put him off with apologies and excuses,
but when he was gone, she said, "Not yet."
Papa doesn't want him yet."
Charles, I see great church trouble ahead.
Can't they even let him die in peace?
They mean something so different by peace.
It would be an outrage.
No one could have made it plainer in his life
what he thought of religion.
They come to him now when his mind's wandering
and he hasn't the strength to resist
and claim him as a death bed penitent.
I've had some respect for their religion up to now,
but if they do that,
then I'll know that what stupid people say is true,
that it is all superstition and trickery.
Don't you agree? Hmm?
I don't know, Charles. I simply don't know.
The weeks of illness wore on,
and the life of the house kept pace
with the faltering strength of the sick man.
Oh, hol Oh, ho, no, no.
It's too good. I don't believe it.
I don't-don't.
Cordelia, you didn't let me win on purpose, did you?
Of course not, Papa.
Wilcox says the painted parlor's ready.
Do you really want to do this?
What's that, Julia?
Apparently Papa told Wilcox this morning
he wants to move to the painted parlor.
Well, I've changed my mind.
Why should you move?
You're comfortable here.
Where's she going?
Don't worry, Alex. She's coming back.
Do you want me to read to you?
No.
I'll get my revenge first.
I suppose you want the whites to win this one.
Once, at the end of February, he called for a car
and got as far as the north front steps.
Then suddenly he lost interest in the drive.
No, not now.
Later.
Sometime... in the summer.
The bad spells became longer and more frequent.
Days and nights became indistinguishable to him.
A nurse was engaged.
I have a very serious complaint to make,
Lady Cordelia.
I've never seen such a room,
nothing like it anywhere in all my experience.
How can I possibly nurse his lordship
in conditions like this?
I must insist that my patient is moved
where there's running hot water,
a small, narrow bed that I can get round,
and a dressing room for myself.
It's only what I'm used to.
I'm sorry, Nurse.
We have tried, but it's hopeless.
He won't be moved.
Then I can't answer for the consequences.
Presently, there were no good spells,
merely brief fluctuations in the speed of his decline.
Bridey was called back.
It was the Easter holidays,
and Beryl was busy with her children.
He came alone.
Papa must see a priest.
Oh, Bridey, do you think he would?
I shall see that he does.
I've just asked Father Mackay to come tomorrow.
I'll take him in myself.
Although none of us had spoken of it,
I felt the question ever present
through the weeks of Lord Marchmain's illness.
I saw it when Cordelia
drove off early in the mornings to Mass.
I saw it as Cara took to going with her.
Now Brideshead, in his own ruthless way,
had planted the problem down before us.
Well, now, Lord Brideshead,
do you think the poor soul would be ready to see me?
I'm sure, Father.
The nurse said he had a good night.
Would you care to come with me?
This is all so serious.
Listen, "April events on the Riviera:".
"There will be a fête in Monte Carlo,
and Mrs. Reginald Fellows has organized a charity gala."
Indefatigable old bagl.
I've brought Father Mackay to see you, Papa.
Who?
Father Mackay, Papa.
Father Mackay.
I'm afraid you've been brought here
under a misapprehension.
I am not in extremis,
and I have not been
a practicing member of your church for 25 years.
Brideshead...
I think you should see Father Mackay out,
don't you?
Do go on reading, darling.
Please, love.
"The Russian ballet season will open
"under the direction of Monsieur Massine,
and the Battle of Flowers will take place at Nice."
Father, I can only apologize.
Poor soul.
Mark you, it was seeing the strange face.
You may depend on it.
The unexpected stranger.
Indeed I can understand it well myself.
I'm sorry, Father.
It's wretched to have brought you all this way.
Don't talk about it at all, Lady Cordelia.
Why, I've had bottles thrown at me in the Gorbals.
Give him time.
I've known worse cases make beautiful deaths.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll pay a visit to Mrs. Hawkins.
I'll call again.
Pray for him.
Do you know your way, Father?
Indeed I do.
Do I gather the visit was not a success?
It was not.
Cordelia, will you drive Father Mackay home
when he comes down from Nanny's?
I'm going to telephone Beryl to see if she needs me at home.
Bridey...
it was horrible.
What are we going to do?
We've done all we can for the moment.
Damn Bridey.
I knew it wouldn't work.
I felt triumphant.
I had been right. Everyone else had been wrong.
Truth had prevailed.
The threat I had felt
hanging over Julia and me at the fountain
had been averted, perhaps dispelled forever.
Mumbo jumbo's off.
The witch doctor's gone.
Poor Papa.
It's great sucks to Bridey.
I can't quite see why you've taken it so much to heart
that my father shall not have the last sacraments.
Well, it's such a lot of witchcraft and hypocrisy,
isn't it?
Is it?
It's been going on for nearly 2,000 years.
I really don't know why
you should suddenly get so excited about it now.
For Christ's sake,
write a letter to The Times,
get up and make a speech in Hyde Park,
start a "No Popery" riot,
but don't bore me about it.
What's it got to do with you or me
whether my father sees his parish priest?
There was also-
I can now confess it-
another unexpressed, inexpressible,
indecent little victory
that I was furtively celebrating.
I guessed that the morning's business
had put Brideshead some considerable way further
from his rightful inheritance.
In that, I was correct.
A man was sent for
from the solicitors in London that afternoon.
It soon became known throughout the house
that Lord Marchmain had made a new will.
But I was wrong in thinking
that the religious controversy was quashed.
It flared up again that evening after dinner.
What Papa said was, "I am not in extremis.
"I have not been a practicing member
of the church for 25 years."
Not "the church," "your church."
I don't see the difference.
There's every difference.
Bridey, it is perfectly plain what he meant.
I presume he meant what he said.
He meant he was not accustomed
regularly to receive the sacrament,
and since he was not at that moment dying,
he did not intend to change his ways yet.
But that's simply a quibble.
Why do people always think one is quibbling
when one tries to be precise?
His plain meaning was that
he did not wish to see a priest that day
but that he would when he was in extremis.
I wonder if there's any more coffee.
I wish somebody would explain to me
what the significance of these sacraments is.
Do you mean that if he dies without a priest,
quite alone, that he goes to hell?
And that if the priest is there and puts oil on him-
- No, it's not the oil.
That heals him.
Odder still.
Well, whatever it is he does,
that then he goes to heaven?
Now, is that what you believe?
I think my nurse told me, or someone did anyway,
that if the priest got there before the body was cold,
it was all right.
That's so, isn't it?
No, Cara. It isn't.
Certainly not.
You've got it all wrong.
Do any of you Catholics know exactly what good
you think this priest will do?
Do you simply want to arrange it
so that your father can have a Christian burial?
Or do you want to keep him out of hell?
I only want to be told.
They're the same thing.
To keep out of hell, as you put it,
and to have a Christian burial,
he must make an act of the will.
He has to be contrite and wish to be reconciled.
Only God knows whether he has made that act of will.
You mean sometimes the priest doesn't know?
Not necessarily.
So it's quite possible
that the will may still be working
when a man is too weak to make any outward sign of it?
He may be lying as though dead.
Yes, and willing all the time to be reconciled.
God understands that.
So does the Church.
So she is able to give him the last sacraments.
I never heard that before.
So if the priest isn't there,
and he makes the act of will alone,
that's as good as if there is a priest.
Is that right?
More or less.
Well, for heaven's sake,
what's the priest for?
All that I know
is that I shall take very good care
to have a priest.
Bless you.
I believe that's the best answer.
I wish you wouldn't start these religious arguments.
I didn't start it.
You don't convince anyone else,
and you don't really convince yourself.
I only want to know what these people believe.
They say it's all based on logic.
If you'd let Bridey finish,
he would have made it all quite logical.
There were four of you.
Cara didn't know the first thing it was about
and may or may not have believed it.
You knew a bit and didn't believe a word.
Cordelia knew about as much and believed it madly.
Only poor Bridey both knew and believed,
and I thought he made a pretty poor show
when it came to explaining.
And people go about saying,
"At least Catholics know what they believe."
Well, we had a fair cross section there tonight.
Oh, Charles, don't rant.
I shall begin to think you're getting doubts.
The weeks passed,
and still Lord Marchmain lived on.
In June, my divorce was made absolute.
Julia would be free in September.
The nearer our marriage got,
the more wistfully I noticed Julia spoke of it.
War was growing nearer too.
But Lord Marchmain's mind was far from world affairs.
It was there on the spot, turned in on himself.
He had no strength for any other war
than his own solitary struggle to keep alive.
Better today.
I can see now,
where the geese are flying over the lilies,
where yesterday I was confused
and took the lilies for swans.
Soon I shall see where the geese are headed
when they gather to fly over the looking glass.
Better tomorrow.
We live long in our family and marry late.
73.
No great age.
Aunt Julia, my father's aunt,
lived to be 88.
Born and died here.
Never married.
Saw the fire on Beacon Hill for the battle of Trafalgar.
Always called it "the new house."
That was their name for it in the nursery
and in the fields when unlettered men
had long memories.
You can see where the old house stood
near the village church.
They called the field Castle Hill,
Horlick's Field, where the ground's uneven,
and most of it waste,
nettle, and briar
in hollows too deep for plowing.
Those were our roots,
in the waste hollows of Castle Hill.
We were knights then,
barons since Agincourt.
The larger honors came the last,
and they'll go the first.
The barony goes on.
When Brideshead's buried,
Julia's son will be called
by the name his fathers bore
before the fat days.
The days of wool shearing
and the wide corn lands
to the days of growth and building
when the marshes were drained
and the waste land brought under the plow.
When one built the house,
his son added the dome.
His son spread the wings
and dammed the river.
He's got a wonderful will to live, hasn't he?
Would you put it like that?
I'd say a great fear of death.
Is there a difference?
Oh, dear me, yes.
He doesn't derive any strength from his fear.
It's wearing him out.
Good-bye, Mr. Ryder.
Good-bye, Doctor.
I'll call in tomorrow morning.
Mm.
Better today.
I've lived carefully,
protected myself from the cold winds,
eaten moderately of what was in season,
drunk fine claret,
slept in my own sheets.
I shall live long.
When I was 50,
they dismounted us and sent us up the line.
"Old men stay at the base," the orders said.
Walter Venables, my commanding officer,
my nearest neighbor, he said,
"You are as fit as the youngest of them, Alex."
So I was.
So I am now,
if l...
If I could breathe.
When summer comes,
I shall leave my bed
and... sit in the open air,
breathe more freely.
When the wind comes down the valley
and a man can turn to meet it
and fill himself with air
like a beast at water.
I'll take it.
Why have they dug this hole for me?
Must a man stifle to death in his own cellar?
Plender, Gaston, open the windows.
The windows are all wide open, my lord.
It's empty.
Look, Nurse. There's nothing comes out.
No, Lord Marchmain, it's quite full.
You can tell from this dial here.
It's at full pressure.
Listen, can't you hear it hiss?
Now...
try and breathe slowly, Lord Marchmain,
quite gently.
Then you'll get the benefit.
There.
Free as air.
That's what they say.
Free as air.
Now they bring me my air in an iron barrel.
I was free once.
I committed a crime
in the name of freedom.
Cordelia,
what became of the chapel?
They locked it up, Papa,
when Mummy died.
It was hers.
I built it for her.
There was a chaplain here until the war.
Do you remember him?
I was too young.
Then I went away.
I left her praying in the chapel.
It was hers.
It was the place for her.
I never came back to disturb her prayers.
They said we were fighting for freedom.
I had my victory.
Was that a crime?
I think it was, Papa.
Do you think that, child?
Thus Lord Marchmain lay dying,
wearing himself down in the struggle to live.
Since there was no reason to expect an immediate change,
Cordelia went to London to see her women's organization
about the coming emergency.
That day, when Julia and I were alone with Cara,
he became suddenly worse.
Is he dying?
It's difficult to say.
When he does die, it will probably be like this.
He may recover from the present attack.
The only thing is not to disturb him.
The least shock will be fatal.
I'm going to telephone Father Mackay.
Dr. Grant, we must stop this nonsense.
My business is with the body.
It's not my business to argue
whether people are better alive or dead
or what happens to them after death.
I only try to keep them alive.
And you said just now
that the least shock would kill him.
What could be worse for a man who fears death, as he does,
than to have a priest brought to him?
A priest he turned out when he had the strength?
I think it may kill him.
Then you will forbid it?
I have no authority to forbid anything.
I can only give an opinion.
Doctor?
Excuse me.
Cara, what do you think?
I don't want him made unhappy.
That is all there is to hope for now,
that he'll die without knowing it.
But I should like the priest there all the same.
But will you try and persuade Julia
to keep him away until the end?
Then he can do no harm.
I will ask her to leave Alex happy.
Yes.
I've telegraphed Bridey and Cordelia.
I hope you agree that
nothing should be done until they arrive.
I wish they were here now.
You can't take the responsibility alone.
Everyone else is against you.
Dr. Grant,
tell her what you told me just now.
I said that the shock of seeing a priest
might well kill him.
Without that, he may survive this attack.
As his medical man,
I must protest against anything being done to disturb him.
Cara?
I know you are doing for the best, Julia,
but you see, Alex was not a religious man.
He scoffed always.
We mustn't take advantage of him, now he's weak,
to comfort our own consciences.
If Father Mackay comes to him when he is unconscious,
then he can be buried in the proper way,
can he not, Father?
I'll go and see how he is.
Father Mackay, do you remember
how Lord Marchmain greeted you last time?
Do you think it possible he can have changed now?
Thank God, by His grace, it is possible.
Perhaps you could go in while he is sleeping,
say the words of absolution over him.
He would never know.
I've seen so many men and women die.
I never knew them sorry to have me there at the end.
Yes, but they were Catholics.
Lord Marchmain has never been one except in name.
Well, at any rate, not for years.
He was a scoffer.
Cara said so.
There's no change.
Now, Doctor, how could I be a shock to anyone?
Do you know what I'm going to do?
It's something so small.
There's no show about it.
I don't wear special clothes, you know?
I go just as I am.
He knows the look of me now. It's nothing alarming.
Oh, Julia. What are we to say?
Let me speak to him.
Father, I really think we-
- I just want him to make some little sign of assent.
I want him, anyway, not to refuse me,
then I want to give him God's pardon.
Alex?
You remember the priest from Melstead?
Father Mackay?
You were very naughty with him when he came to see you.
You hurt his feelings very much.
Now he's here again.
I want you to see him just for my sake...
To make friends.
Though it's not essential, I wanted to anoint him.
It's nothing, a touch of the fingers,
a little oil from this box,
nothing to hurt him.
I don't think he heard me.
I thought I knew how to put it to him,
but he didn't answer me.
If he is unconscious,
it couldn't make him unhappy to see the priest,
could it, Doctor?
Thank you for your advice, Doctor.
I take full responsibility for whatever happens.
Father Mackay, will you please come and see my father now?
You won't disturb him now.
- Do you mean... - No, no.
But he is past noticing anything.
Now, I know that you are sorry
for all the sins of your life, aren't you?
Make a sign, if you can.
You are sorry, aren't you?
Try and remember your sins,
and tell God that you are sorry.
I'm going to give you absolution.
And while I'm giving it,
tell God that you are sorry that you have offended Him.
Ego te absolvo ad ómnibus censuria et peccatis...
I recognized the words of absolution
and saw the priest make the sign of the cross.
Then I knelt too and prayed.
Oh, God, if there is a God,
forgive him his sins,
if there is such a thing as sin.
Per istam sanctan unctionem et suma
piissimam misericoriam indulgeat tibi.
Dominus quidquid deliquisti. Amen.
I suddenly felt the longing for a sign,
if only of courtesy,
if only for the sake of the woman I loved
who knelt in front of me praying, I knew, for a sign.
It seemed so small a thing that was asked,
the bare acknowledgement of a present,
a nod in the crowd.
I prayed more simply.
God, forgive him his sins,
and, please, God, make him accept Your forgiveness.
So small a thing to ask.
Ego, facultate mihi ab Apostolica Sede tributa.
Indulgentiam plenarium
et remissionem omnium pessatorum tibi concedo.
Et benedico te in nominee Patris
et Fillii et Spiritus Sancti.
Amen.
Then I knew that the sign I had asked for
was not a little thing,
not a passing nod of recognition.
And a phrase came back to me from my childhood
of the veil of the temple being rent from top to bottom.
Will you see Father Mackay out?
I'm staying here for a little.
Now, that was a beautiful thing to see.
I've seen it happen that way again and again.
The devil resists to the last moment,
and then the grace of God is too much for him.
You're not a Catholic, I think, Mr. Ryder,
but you'll be glad for the ladies
to have the comfort of it.
Father,
we should give you something for your trouble.
Oh, don't think about it, Mr. Ryder.
It was a pleasure.
But anything you care to give is useful in a parish like mine.
Is this all right?
Well, that's more than generous, Mr. Ryder.
God bless you.
I'll call again later,
but I don't think the poor soul has long for this world.
Good-bye.
Julia remained in the Chinese drawing room
until, at 5:00 that evening, her father died,
proving both sides right in the dispute,
priest and doctor.
Lord Marchmain's passed away, sir.
It was very peaceful.
If you will excuse me, sir.
Julia?
L...
Not now.
I'm taking Cara to her room.
Later.
Thus, I come to the broken sentences
which were the last words spoken
between Julia and me,
the last memories.
While she was still upstairs,
Brideshead and Cordelia arrived from London.
When at last we met alone,
it was by stealth...
Like young lovers.
Here on the stairs, a minute to say good-bye.
So long
to say so little.
You knew?
Since this morning.
Since before this morning, all this year.
I didn't know till today.
Oh, my dear, if you could only understand,
then I could bear to part or bear it better.
I'd say my heart were breaking
if I believed in broken hearts.
I can't marry you, Charles.
I can't be with you ever again.
I know.
How can you know?
What will you do?
Just go on.
Alone.
How can I tell what I shall do?
You know the whole of me.
You know I'm not one for a life of mourning.
I've always been bad.
Probably I shall be bad again,
punished again.
But the worse I am,
the more I need God.
I can't shut myself out from His mercy.
That is what it would mean, starting a life with you,
without Him.
One can only see one step ahead.
But I saw today, there's one thing unforgivable.
Like things in the schoolroom
so bad they're unpunishable,
that only Mummy could deal with.
The bad thing I was on the point of doing
that I'm not quite bad enough to do,
to set up a rival good to God's.
It may be because of Mummy,
Nanny, Sebastian, Cordelia,
perhaps Bridey and Mrs. Muspratt
keeping my name in their prayers.
Or it may be a private bargain between me and God,
that if I give up this one thing I want so much,
however bad I am,
He won't quite despair of me in the end.
Now we shall both be alone...
And I shall have no way of making you understand.
I don't want to make it easier for you.
I hope your heart may break.
But I do understand.
The worst place we've struck yet.
No facilities, no amenities,
and brigade headquarters arriving next week,
sitting right on top of us.
Marchmain, the town,
is ten miles away and damn-all when you get there.
It will therefore be the first concern
of company officers
to organize recreation for their men.
M.O., I want you to take a look at the lakes
to see if they're fit for bathing.
Very good, sir.
Brigade expects us to clean up the house for them.
I should have thought
some of those half-shaven scrim-shankers
I see lounging around headquarters
might have saved us the trouble.
However...
Ryder, you will find a fatigue party
and report to the quartering commandant
at the house at 10:45 hours.
He'll show you what we're taking over.
Very good, sir.
Anyone happen to know this district?
That's all, then. Get cracking.
- Good morning, sir. - Morning.
Fatigue party reporting for duty.
Well done.
Ah, it's wonderful place in its way.
Pity to knock it about too much.
Come in. I'll show you over.
Thank you, sir.
It's a vast warren,
but we've only requisitioned the ground floor
and half a dozen bedrooms.
So everything else upstairs is private property.
There's a caretaker and a couple of old servants live at the top.
They won't be any trouble to you.
The chapel is open, in bounds to the troops,
and a surprising number use it.
The place belongs to Lady Julia Flyte,
as she calls herself now.
She used to be married to Mottram,
the minister for whatever it is.
She's abroad on some women's service.
I try to keep an eye on things for her.
Surprising, the old marquis leaving everything to her.
Bit rough on the boys.
Mm.
Thank you.
This is the signals room.
Plenty of space, anyway.
The last lot made absolute hay of the place.
Rather a shame.
Pity we didn't have those paintings covered up.
Modern work, I think,
but if you ask me,
quite the prettiest in the place.
Somebody's made rather a beast of himself there.
Destructive beggars soldiers are.
See that fountain out there?
Rather a tender spot for our landlady.
The young officers used to lark about in it
on guest nights,
and it was all looking a bit the worse for wear,
so I boarded it up and turned the water off.
Florid great thing, isn't it?
They put the clerks in here.
Don't know why, really.
Gets bloody cold in winter.
Tried these oil heaters, but it didn't do much good.
Now, keep an eye on the busts.
Some bright spark managed
to knock the head off one of them,
playing indoor hockey, if you please.
Don't worry.
It won't be charged to your lot.
I'd advise you to give this room to the brigadier for his office.
The last one took it.
Next door's no good.
It's got a bloody great bed in it
and a load of Chinese furniture.
Always reminds me of one of the costlier knocking shops.
You know?
La Maison Japonaise.
Well, I'm only here to clear up.
Someone from brigade will allot the rooms.
Well, you've got an easy job, haven't you?
Well, if you've seen everything, I'll push off.
Good day to you. Good day, sir.
Hooper?
Is there any chance I can safely leave you
in charge of the working party for half an hour?
I was just wondering if we could scrounge some tea.
For Christ's sake, you've only just started.
They're awfully browned off.
Keep them at it.
Righty-o.
Go and get the last four crates out of the truck, will you?
Now, what about a sip of tea?
Why, isn't it Mr. Ryder?
It is.
I was wondering when I'd meet somebody I knew.
Mrs. Hawkins is still in her old room.
I was just going to take her some tea.
I'll take it for you.
Very good, sir.
Nanny?
Hello.
It's me.
Charles Ryder.
Do sit down, Nanny.
I've brought your tea.
Charles Ryder!
Lady Julia's not here,
only myself here and the two girls
and poor Father Membling, who was blown up,
not a roof to his head, not a stick of furniture,
till Julia took him in with the kind heart she's got,
and his nerves something shocking.
Ooh.
Did you listen to Mr. Mottram last night?
Very nasty about Hitler, he was.
I said to Effie, the girl who does for me,
I said, "if Hitler was listening"
"and if he understands English,
"which I doubt,
he'll feel very small."
Have you heard from Julia?
From Cordelia, only last week.
They're together still,
as they have been all the time,
and Julia sent me love at the bottom of the page.
They're both very well, but they couldn't say where,
but Father Membling said, reading between the lines,
it was Palestine,
which is where Bridey's yeomanry is,
so that's all very nice for them.
Cordelia said they were all looking forward
to coming home after the war,
which I'm sure we all are.
Though, whether I live to see it
is another story.
Well, where on Earth are the men, Hooper?
Well, they had to go off to draw the bedstraw.
I didn't know anything about it till Sergeant Block told me.
I don't know whether they'll be coming back.
Don't know? What orders did you give?
Well, I told Sergeant Block to bring them back
if he thought it was worthwhile,
if there'll be time between now and dinner.
You've been hotted again, Hooper.
That straw wasn't to be drawn till 6:00 this evening.
Oh, Lord. Sorry, Ryder.
It was Sergeant Block.
No, it was my fault for going away.
Fall in the same party immediately after lunch,
bring them back here,
and keep them here until the job's done.
Righty-o.
Oh.
Thanks.
I say,
did you say you knew this place before?
Yes, very well.
It belongs to friends of mine.
It doesn't make any sense,
one family in a place this size.
What's the use of it?
I suppose brigade finds it useful.
That's not what it's built for, though, is it?
No.
It's not what it was built for.
Maybe that's one of the pleasures of building,
like having a son, wondering how he'll grow up.
I don't know.
I've never built anything.
And I forfeited the right to watch my son grow up.
I'm homeless,
childless,
middle-aged,
and loveless, Hooper.
Now go on back to camp and keep out of the CO's way
if he's back from the recce.
Okay, Ryder.
And, Hooper, don't let on to anyone
that we made a nonsense of this morning.
The chapel showed no ill effects of its long neglect.
The paint was as fresh and bright as ever.
And the lamp burned once more before the altar.
I knelt and said a prayer,
an ancient, newly learned form of words.
I thought, the builders did not know the uses
to which their work would descend.
They made a new house with the stones of the old castle.
Year by year, the great harvest of timber in the park
grew to ripeness,
until, in sudden frost,
came the age of Hooper.
The place was desolate,
and the work all brought to nothing.
Quomodo sedet sola civitas.
Vanity of vanities,
all is vanity.
And yet, I thought,
that is not the last word.
It is not even an apt word.
It is a dead word from ten years back.
Something quite remote
from anything the builders intended
had come out of their work
and out of the fierce little human tragedy
in which I played.
Something none of us thought about at the time:
A small red flame,
a beaten copper lamp of deplorable design
relit before the beaten copper doors of a tabernacle.
This flame,
which the old knights saw from their tombs,
which they saw put out,
the flame burns again for other soldiers
far from home,
farther in heart than Acre or Jerusalem.
It could not have been lit
but for the builders and the tragedians,
and there I found it that morning,
burning anew among the old stones.
Morning, Ryder.
You're looking remarkably cheerful today.